Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Nicholas Was...

Older than sin, and his beard could grow no whiter. He wanted to die.
The dwarfish natives of the arctic caverns did not speak his language, but conversed in their own, twittering tongue, conducted incomprehensible rituals, when they were not actually working in the factories.
Once every year they forced him, sobbing and protesting, into Endless Night. During the journey he would stand near every child in the world, leave one of the dwarves' invisible gifts by its bedside. The children slept, frozen in time.
He envied Prometheus and Loki, Sisyphus and Judas. His punishment was harsher.

-Neil Gaiman

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Government by Nature

A couple of weeks ago, I was engaged in friendly debate with a few people on a forum about the viability of certain governments, and the ethics of rebellion. One individual was advocating anarchism as a valid social order. My opinion regarding the concept of social anarchy has been called negative by some, but I prefer the term "realistic". I shared my point of view in that particular discussion, and, based on the positive reception I received, I determined that it was worth showing it to anyone I can. The full body of it is posted below.

an·ar·chy ( P ) Pronunciation Key (nr-k)n. pl. an·ar·chies Absence of any form of political authority. Political disorder and confusion. Absence of any cohesive principle, such as a common standard or purpose.

The concept of anarchy is that there are no rules, no one watching, no one in control of anything. What that means is that there is no one to stop the strong from preying on the weak, which is inevitable. Without government, humanity will fall back on the Survival of the Fittest principle. Those will only survive that are fit to. It won't be long before the weakest are weeded out and destroyed, and only the strong remain. Then the next major principle will come in: Safety in Numbers. The strong will band together to protect themselves and their assets from the other strong. The strongest band wins, which means they will focus on having the greatest numbers. Eventually, enough people form together in large groups for form tribes. Not we have a tribal society.

Naturally, these tribes will not be able to exist cohesively unless someone is calling the shots, so someone will be put in charge, probably by way of meritocracy: the strongest rules. So now anarchy is gone, replaced by tribal society. The tribes will fight amongst each other, and the stronger, winning tribes will absorb the weaker, defeated tribes and grow larger. Eventually all the tribes in one region will have been assimilated into one, and the battle for dominance will become one of territory. We now have a Feudal society.

A feudal society is the immediate precursor to a monarchy, or other totalitarian regime. In each region, there will be one at the top, likely a King or similar title, and there will be lesser "nobles" running their own plots of land within the King's vast territory. As these feuding regions war against each other, once again the winners will conquer the losers, and their territories will expand. Within short order, these territories are worthy to be called nations. Now we have countries. At this point, the warring will abate somewhat, and treaties will be signed, agreements for import and export made, alliances forged. Most of these countries will be totalitarian regimes for a long time to come, but eventually other forms of government will evolve. Socialism, communism, theocracy, republics and eventually democracy.

In conclusion, if society gave up all government and fell to anarchy, it would only be reverting to humanity's baser roots, and all we'd be doing is starting the cycle of social evolution from the beginning. It's a good way to cut down the human population for a while, but we just end up back here anyway. Society is where it is now because this is how far we've evolved. We need to move forward, not backwards, and there are simply too many people too close together on Earth for anarchy to be even vaguely considerable.

Sunday, June 19, 2005

The last time I had a haircut was when I was 15, in 1999. So for the past five and a half years, my hair has been steadily growing. Suffice it to say, my hair got pretty long. And by pretty long, I mean really long. That all changed today. Four months ago (give or take), I got sick of my hair, and would have chopped it off right then. However, I got it into my head to run a charity off my hair for cancer research and such, and made the mistake of taking this idea to the management at my wonderful workplace. That was in February. Now it is June. One can say that I got a bit impatient with the management, and decided to take things into my own hands, or, preferably, the hands of a professional stylist. Besides, I had given the idea to my best friend, and she and others were able to raise something like $3000 Canadian by shaving their heads, so I'll take points for instigating.

Anyway, this being something of an even for me, and since many of the people I'll be showing this to have never even seen my face, I thought I'd take this time to present a photographic oddysey of my decoiffing. Get the popcorn ready now, this'll keep you glued to your seats....
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Like I said, the hair was long. Notice the Tshirt?
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I look so happy don't I? I know, the pictures are huge and blurry, but I'm not exactly good at this...
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The first lock, ready to go!
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Feels like something's missing.....not sure what....
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One more cut to conformity!
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Take a moment to wash what's left aaaaaaaand shameless website plug. I am a whore.
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Now we get to the dirty work!
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Once again, I look so HAPPY!
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The stylist wanted me to go with some sort of shaggy skater/surfer 'do, with wings and stuff. Hell no.
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And finally, me as I am now, with short, manageable and sexy hair. I then went on to have attractive women feel my head for the rest of the day. No lie! Getting your hair cut for the first time in almost six years has its benefits!

Well, I hope you enjoyed this little journey through my formerly full and voluminous hair. Tune in next time when I do something considerably less drastic.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

The whole purpose of not working today was Green Day. The added necessity to give my throat a break was consequently included, and finally, my older brother insisted that my younger brother and I take a trip down to his place today so we could go over suit styles and colours for his upcoming wedding, as well as discuss details for the social, and who would contribute what to the silent auction. I think we managed to avoid the older brother's fiancee's insane wish to have the groomsmen wearing pink. That would NOT happen. Ever. I would show up in jeans.

My brothers and I and looked at suit stuff for maybe a half an hour to an hour, then the younger and I took off back to my place for food and some quick concert preparations on my part (changing my shirt), then moseyed around, gradually picking up our fellow concert goers. Then it was off to Green Day!

First, the bad shit. I hate crowds, so getting in sucked. I totally forgot I had my knife on me, and that's a big no at the MTS Center. I handed it over to a security guard, who never bothered to tell my I was supposed to get a ticket to get it back, he just told me to "find him after the show". Fucker. He knew I wouldn't be able to find him among 11,000 people, he just wanted the nice knife. So now I need a new knife. Once we got into the show, during My Chemical Romance's unmemorable opening act, I could literally watch four people lighting up joints, nevermind the smell. And one of them was mere feet away from a woman and her eight year old daughter. I have two problems with this. First, of course, is my problem with drug use, and the total inability of people to respect rules that exist for a reason. That may be two problems on its own, but whatever. The second official problem is this: What business to parents have bringing their young children to a show like Green Day? I saw an eleven year old in the moshpit, accompanied, of course, by his older sister. This goes to prove how responsible his older sister is, or it would, if I needed proof. Then again, parents have no concept of what a band like Green Day really plays, aside from the songs played on the radio, specifically on pop radio stations, who only play the mob-pleasing singles, and would never play the material that makes up the majority of Green Day's repertoire. I have no problem with Billy Joe Armstrong feigning masturbation in front of a crowd of thousands, and then screaming "Somebody fuck me!" into the microphone. I have a problem with the parents who will complain about the content of the concert to which they purchased tickets and brought their child without bothering to run a simple Google search on the fucking lyrics! And then I come to the current generation of Green Day fans. My god, typical teeny-bopper fad-fucks. Naturally, they act like they own the band, despite the fact that some of us have been listening to them longer than they've been alive. That's the one reason I would have wanted a floor ticket. So I could beat those little fuckers into submission and explain to them that it's their fault a band like My Chemical Romance is opening for Green Day, rather than a band that actually has some similarity with Green Day. I could go on like this for a while, but it's time to move on.

Most of the above-mentioned irritations (nevermind the crowds and the poor, lost knife), passed effectively to the back of my mind once the real show got started. Green day has always been on my shortlist of bands to listen to as available. Mostly Dookie and American Idiot, but I can listen to any of their albums easily. They're one of those bands who manage to stay ahead of the game by changing as often as possible. Every one of their albums has a different feel, but it's all Green Day, so when you throw them all together in one set, it pretty much meshes. And they do know how to please a crowd. Audience participation is in. Like pulling one kid on stage and letting him hose down the audience with a supersoaker. Or replacing the band members with audience members. They actually managed to pull a decent drummer, bassist and guitarist (a 15 year old kid named Jesse), out of the floor-crowd, and had them play a song. A simple song, but a Green Day song nonetheless. Jesse got to keep the guitar. That was cool. The band was loud, the band was awesome. My need to treat my voice with care was conveniently forgotten, as I was just as vocal as anyone in that crowd. I tell you, there were some ugly people around there. There were also some fantastically hot ones. The trouble, in a crowd like that, is knowing which ones aren't teenagers. That's tricky. Glad I wasn't trying to get laid.

So we left, me without my knife, and eventually got back to my brother's apartment, where there was beer and Futurama. I didn't stick around long, I had to get home and sleep. Which is exactly what I'm doing right now. Yeah.

Despite how poorly I treated my voice tonight, I think I might actually be able to work tomorrow. I have mixed feelings about that. On the one hand, I like not working, it pleases me greatly. On the other hand, I'm the responsible sort, and don't like skipping out on my duties, even when I really have to. So I'm half-hoping I'll be ok tomorrow. If not, I'll have to call in, and hope I'm better on thursday. Must regain voice.

I've typed enough. I'm going to stop very soon

Everybody do the Propaganda.

Friday, April 29, 2005

Holy Crap

Just as I determined that I will never need any game outside The Matrix Online, someone mentions Guild Wars. Dammit, these games are going to leave me penniless. Happy in my little fantasy world, but penniless. They're bragging, too. Oh but they're bragging. They're hot shit and they know it. We say "six professions isn't nearly enough!" They turn around with "but there are 36 COMBINATIONS of the 6 professions." We respond by saying "Yes, please." And they axed subscription fees. No subscription fees! How do they make their money? This is going to be one expensive game, I'm willing to bet. But damn if I didn't just have to check out the screenshots and gameplay samples on their website (, and holy shit! I must buy this game! I must buy it, and play it, and name it and love it. I just noticed, they even have a short story on their website. Now that's hype. You can expect to see my review on Monkeycube once this comes out. Damn, just damn. I'm lost forever if this game is half as good as it makes itself look. Excuse me now, I must go drool over screenshots.

Saturday, April 23, 2005

Why Don't You Just Scream At The Wall?

I really hate this tendency people have to think that they can get more accomplished if they just yell louder. Where did the idea come from that people will be more inclined to help you if you scream at them? I will tell you, on good authority, that that is the exact opposite of my reaction. I was raised on the belief that you get more accomplished with diplomacy than agression. The world at large is acting like a bunch of spoiled kids. On every level. If you don't get what you want, start yelling until someone gives it to you. It doesn't matter if it's physically impossible, you want it done yesterday, and you deserve the best treatment because you're you. Guess what, the world doesn't work that way. Six billion people think the exact same thing, and I'm sorry, but you can't all be Number One. In fact, I'll let you in on a secret: as far as Number One goes, there's no one farther away than you. If you're reading this and thinking "this doesn't apply to me", then it probably does. You're just too wrapped up in your own existence to realize that you're a vapid, self-important waste of space, just like the rest of us. If someone puts their goals ahead of yours, destroy them. If you don't get what you want, when you want it, heads will roll.

Even better are those who think they're so much better, and prove it by recriminating everyone else. Anyone who tries to tell you what's wrong with you is just covering up for their own glaring flaws. And to save myself from hypocrisy, I will say, right now, that I am no better than the people I just criticised. I am a selfish, spiteful, arrogant human being. But sometimes recognition of hubris is the first step towards self-betterment. So I'm going to try and take a step here, hopefully in the right direction. And if it works, maybe others will follow.

Until then, keep screaming. See how far it gets you.